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Grandma Got Done In By A Campaign Smear

PHILADELPHIA – Democrat presidential candidate Barack Obama fought for his political life Tuesday in a far reaching speech designed to distance himself from the extremist rhetoric of his long time pastor, friend and mentor, The Rev. Jeremiah Wright. At the same time, Obama pledged his continued loyalty to Wright and suggested Wright’s larger message was lost in the translation from Black Pulpit English into North American English.

Beset by a barrage of video clips on cable news and the internet of Rev. Wright preaching condemnations of America, including – “God Damn America, land that I loathe” and the “US of KKKA”, Obama described the sermons as typical Sunday morning hyperbole that is heard in many “Black Churches". In an effort to calm voters fears Obama said, “It is one of my hopes that white voters will take me at my word and not take Rev. Wright's words too literally. Do his words sound mean and hateful to the ignorant and racist? Yes. But what many American’s don’t understand is that, like the O.J. Simpson verdict, it’s ‘A Black Thing’. Shucks, I only half understand it myself.”

Obama went on to say that racial strife in America can come from many directions that the only way to resolve this issue is through education and by making him president in November.  But mostly by electing him president.  “Racism is largely a matter of ignorance and that ignorance is systemic and expressed in a number of ways. The subtle, hidden racism that was the experience of my youth remains ingrained in me. My earliest memories are of my very own white grandmother baking me chocolate chip cookies. Never once did I get a sugar cookie, little short bread cookie, a Lorna Doone, or even maybe a Rice KKKrispie treat. No, it was always the chocolate chip. And every time I saw those little bits of chocolate chip and cookie floating on top of my glass of white milk, I just knew it was Grandma’s way of shoving it in my face that that I was different from than the rest of the family. And yet, Grandma loved me as much as she could. But I remain scarred.”

And so, you see”, Obama continued, “the discussion of racism in America does not begin or end with Pastor Wright, or O.J. Simpson or even my Grandma.  But know that they are all different sides of the same coin. Pastor Wright uses incendiary language to educate and illuminate, O.J. used a ski mask and a big sharp knife to drive his point home, and my ignorant racist white devil Grandma used cookies. But deep down, it’s all the same thing.”
 

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