Posted by
Kilroy on Monday, May 19, 2008 6:35:57 PM
BOSTON – Senator Edward M. Kennedy, (Mass-D) was rushed to Massachusetts General Hospital Saturday and remains in guarded condition after aides discovered him “
conscious, talking and joking with his family”. Doctors are at a loss to identify the mysterious illness that threatens to bring to an end the long career of the “Lion of the Senate”. Lifelong friend and family physician Johnny “Red” Walker has reported that the Senator has undergone a battery of tests to determine the cause of his condition. “
I’ve known Ted for 50 years and can personally attest that he’s been perfectly incoherent for the past 30 -- we don't know what brought about this tragic turnaround.” Immediately upon arriving at the hospital Kennedy was sedated in an attempt to restore him to his natural state. Sadly, shortly after the sedation wore off he was speaking clearly again.
In light of Kennedy’s sudden downturn, arrangements are in the works for a full state funeral. The Senator himself began preparing for his final exit decades ago by undergoing pre-emptive embalming treatments.