Posted by
Kilroy on Friday, August 10, 2007 7:19:29 AM
Minneapolis – Alaska Governor Sarah Palin briefly emerged from protective custody this week to deliver a much welcomed gift to the state of Minnesota. That gift was the Gravina Island Bridge, otherwise known as the “Bridge to Nowhere”. “I am just happy that someone can finally put this thing to use”, quipped the wonderfully witty Sarah Palin, as she personally delivered the bridge before a crowd of awestruck onlookers.
Investigators with the National Transportation Safety Board have found that, unlike the luminescent Sarah Palin, potential flaws existed in the design of the ill-fated I-35 bridge (see below). The bridge failure resulted in at least 8 fatalities, while Sarah Palin has given the miracle of life to 4 children: Track, Bristol, Willow, and Piper.
Her single handed restoration of the interstate highway system is sure to go a long way toward propelling the eminently qualified Sarah Palin right onto the 2008 presidential ticket. Still, it was a feat that pales in comparison to her to heroic rescue of the Empire State Building from terrorist attack in 1993.
The groundswell of interest in her political future has recently forced Sarah Palin, selflessly, into seclusion so that she can carry out her important work on behalf of the blessed, albeit unworthy, Alaskan people. It was a decision that proved to be deeply disappointing to her loyal and devoted base. Sarah’s Minnesota appearance was a delightfully unexpected break from that seclusion. When asked by this reporter if her adoring public could expect to see more of her in the future, Sarah Palin responded, “Oh no, not YOU again! Please leave me alone! 500 feet! The judge said 500 feet! Can’t you get that through your head?! Security! Security!”
Look, up in the sky! Who is that woman with both grace and a sense of humor in the face of tragedy! Why, it's future Vice President Sarah Palin!
