Posted by
Kilroy on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 12:27:42 PM
CHARLESTON, WV – In a tearful rage,
United States Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV) gave Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick a
thorough lashing on the Senate floor on Friday, while saying he’d "seen
executions before and wouldn’t mind seeing another” for Vick. Vick, who has been indicted by a federal grand jury for his participation in a dog fighting ring, narrowly escaped the lynch mob and fled south to Georgia. He is currently being sought on a warrant sworn out personally by Byrd under the West Virginia Runaway Slave Act.
Senator Byrd has asked that citizens be on the lookout for the fugitive Vick, or any black man wearing leg irons, a torn shirt and bearing large welts on his back. A special hotline has been established for tips and anyone with information is instructed to call 1-800-KKK-BYRD.
Bradenton, FL – NBA Commissioner David Stern is to hold a press conference today to discuss the fallout from charges that NBA referee Tim Donaghy attempted to “fix” games so as to settle gambling debts to the Gambino crime family. In response to this game fixing charges, as well as the seeming rash of criminal behavior running through all professional sports, West Virginia Senator Robert Bird commented, “
Stern … Stern … yep, sounds like a Jew name to me. Let’s string him up too”.
Anyone with information regarding the whereabouts of Stern is instructed to call 1-800-KKK-BYRD.
