Posted by
Kilroy on Monday, July 02, 2007 12:13:23 PM
EMERALD CITY, OZ – This weekend’s fiery car bomb attack on Glasgow International Airport and the botched London car bomb attacks sparked outrage among progressive groups. In the first incident, two Mercedes Benz’ vehicles, packed with gasoline, propane other fossil fuels were discovered poised to detonate in a popular night spot near Piccadilly Circus. Both vehicles were safely disarmed. The second and marginally more successful attack occurred when two suspected terrorists packed their Jeep Cherokee SUV with gasoline and propane tanks, crashed it into the Glasgow Airport, and set it ablaze. The resulting fire was quickly contained. Little damage and few injuries were sustained. Both incidents are believed to have been carried out by factions of, or groups sympathetic to, al Qaeda.
Progressive commentators have come out strongly against the al Qaeda plot as ineffective; an irresponsible waste of fuel; and a reckless generation of greenhouse gases. Offering these helpful hints for future attacks, one contributor for the Daily Kos website characterized the terrorists as “knuckleheads” and offered these words of advice: “Liquid gasoline is not an explosive. It is an incendiary. Gasoline fumes can explode but even if it "explodes", it lacks the power of “true explosives" like Semtex. Simply put, the London luxury bombs (...hey they put them in Mercedes Benzes not Fords) are crude, ineffective and highly unlikely to kill hundreds of people unless there was a rave planned directly around the cars”.
The Earth Liberation Front (ELF) issued a statement condemning the use of a “gas guzzler like the Cherokee” as an “offensive assault on the planet” and suggested, “Going forward, al Qaeda would do well to consider that vehicles fueled by Bio-diesel provide a much more environmentally friendly car bomb. As an alternative, while you don’t get the kill volume you would with explosive devices, the tried and true method of terrorism through beheading can still achieve favorable results while leaving a very small carbon footprint”.
Al Qaeda spokesman Ibn Eedn Renuuzit issued a prompt apology for the attacks and vowed to work more closely with progressive groups “in the furtherance of our common goals” in the future.
