Posted by
Kilroy on Wednesday, May 16, 2007 2:28:43 PM
FUTURE NEWS -- March 7, 2009
WASHINGTON – Fulfilling his oft repeated campaign promise, newly sworn in President Ron Paul took a momentous first step toward ending Islamic terrorism by meeting with
Ambassador Farfur of the Islamofascist Empire at the White House today. Paul has long espoused the notion that, in between (or overtop of) the explosions, gunfire, and the screams from the beheadings, we should be listening to terrorist groups. Among topics discussed was the list of grievances Islamofascistanians have against the United States and what steps we can take to ensure that we are no longer targeted for terrorist attacks.
In a Rose Garden press conference following the meeting, President Paul warmly grasped Ambassador Farfur’s paw and vowed to do whatever was necessary, short of self-defense, to ensure peaceful relations between the two governments. As a gesture of goodwill, President Paul met Farfur’s first demand and issued an executive order requiring 10% of all Wisconsin cheese produced to be donated to the Ambassador. Additionally, the United States will cease supporting the Israeli policy of making bread from the blood of Arabian children; impose a 500% tariff on any imported Arabian child blood Jew bread; and ratify a United Nations resolution declaring all Jews pigs and apes.
Leaving the press conference, the Ambassador and the President parted as if they were old friends, a development that may be attributable to the fact that they are both brand new to their current positions. By coincidence, it was on the same day as President Paul’s inauguration that Ambassador Farfur received his appointment as Ambassador. Prior to his life in politics Farfur was an educator in the Palestine public school system. He teaching credentials were temporarily suspended in 2008 when he was accused of killing his wife because of her alleged mental instability. Under Sharia law, killing the insane is illegal. All charges were later dropped when Farfar claimed “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she was f**king Goofy”.
