Posted by
Kilroy on Thursday, March 29, 2007 12:17:41 AM
COLORADO SPRINGS -- The archangel Gabriel confirmed today that Jesus Christ has scheduled a brief return to the earthly realm during the 2007 Easter holiday. Gabriel emphasized that this will not be the much awaited second coming of Christ and characterized the visit as "
merely a mixture of a pleasure trip, and a fact finding mission for His Father, God".
While religious leaders from many faiths and denominations around the globe have been scrambling to prepare for His visit, The Kilroy Report has learned that James Dobson, founder of the Christian group Focus on the Family has declined a meeting with the Son of God. When questioned about the decision Dobson responded, “"
Everyone knows He's conservative and He has come out strongly for the things that the pro-family movement stands for; I don't think He's a Christian”. Supporting Dobson’s claim, Focus on the Family spokesman Gary Schneeberger said that Dobson "
has never known (Christ) to be a committed Christian—someone who talks openly about Himself."
The group later issued a statement stating that a “
scheduling conflict” was to blame, explaining that Dobson had already planned on meeting with potential presidential candidate, Newt Gingrich that weekend. Dobson has recently praised Gingrich as the "
brightest guy out there."
While reporters pressed Gabriel for a detailed itinerary the Messenger of God refused to be nailed down. One location he did rule out for a visit is the site of the former Garden of Eden in what was Mesopotamia (now Iraq). Citing security concerns, Gabriel offered, “W
hat? Jesus is a meshugener? They've really let that place go to Hell”.
